How to Piss Off an Estate Sale Company
(Or… How Not to Become “That Customer”)
I’ve been buying, selling, pricing, moving, hauling, negotiating, and occasionally hiding behind furniture for more than thirty years.
Estate sale companies are generally a cheerful bunch.
We love finding treasures.
We love seeing wonderful things go to people who appreciate them.
We genuinely enjoy chatting with customers.
But every sale has a few people who seem determined to test the patience of everyone working there.
If that’s your goal…
Here’s how.
Ignore Every Instruction We Give You
The website says:
No pre-sales.
You call anyway.
Then email.
Then text.
Then message us on Facebook.
Then ask again when you arrive.
“No pre-sales” doesn’t mean “unless you really want it.”
It means…
No pre-sales.
The listing says:
Please don’t park in the driveway.
You park in the driveway.
The listing says:
No early birds.
You ring the doorbell forty-five minutes before opening.
Or even better…
Come the Day Before
This happens far more often than you might imagine.
Someone knocks on the door.
“I know you’re not open yet…”
(Excellent start.)
“…but I can’t come tomorrow because Mindy is celebrating her thirteen-and-a-half birthday, my cousin’s bringing the emotional support alpaca, and we’re leaving for Vegas at lunchtime.”
Then comes the question.
“Can I just have a quick look?”
No.
Because if we let one person in…
We’d have thirty.
And after finally convincing us to let you peek…
You leave without buying anything.
Congratulations.
You’ve just delayed our setup for absolutely no reason.
Complain About the Prices
Everyone likes a bargain.
So do I.
But there’s a difference between bargain hunting and acting personally offended because a beautiful antique isn’t priced like it came from the dollar store.
Estate sale companies spend hours—sometimes days—researching values.
Do we occasionally get it wrong?
Of course.
Pricing isn’t an exact science.
But we do our best.
I’ve actually been thrown out of another company’s sale because I politely questioned several prices – the guy running it looked like he had a bad day the moment the sale opened so there is that!
(Yes, even I know there are limits.)
Some shoppers expect thrift-store prices.
Others expect antique-gallery prices.
We try to land somewhere comfortably in the middle.
Remember…
You don’t have to buy it.
Haggle… Over Fifty Cents
Negotiating is part of estate sale culture.
Especially later in the sale.
We’re happy to listen.
But occasionally…
Someone argues over a dollar as though international peace depends on it.
One delightful lady wanted a kitchen strainer.
Price?
One dollar.
Her offer?
Twenty-five cents.
She negotiated longer than it would have taken to earn the remaining seventy-five cents.
Then there was the woman carrying a genuine Hermès handbag.
She spent ten minutes arguing over a Yeti cooler.
Retail price?
Around $400.
Our price?
$40.
Apparently forty dollars was outrageous.
Perspective is everything.
The Endless Pile Trick
This one deserves its own category.
A customer gathers a mountain of merchandise.
We work out a very fair bundle price.
Everybody’s happy.
Then…
“Oh…can I add these?”
And another armful appears.
Then another.
Then another.
That’s a little like agreeing to buy a used Honda…
…then asking if the dealer will throw in a Tesla.
If we’re giving you a volume discount, please don’t keep quietly expanding the volume.
Explain Why Nothing Will Sell
This is always entertaining.
Someone strolls through the house announcing to anyone within earshot:
“Nobody buys Lladró anymore.”
“Brown furniture is dead.”
“Nobody wants china.”
“Those crystal glasses will never sell.”
Thank you for your market analysis.
We know.
We’re the ones who’ve spent the last week researching, pricing, photographing, advertising, and moving it.
Some categories are hot.
Some aren’t.
That’s simply how markets work.
Besides…
You never know who’s standing behind you.
Years ago, when I was selling my own house and contents in Los Angeles, I overheard a gentleman loudly explaining to his friend that my artwork was overpriced and that nobody would ever buy it.
He then announced that a pair of ski boots I’d paid about $600 for were “only worth five bucks.”
Apparently he was doing me a favor.
I politely suggested he continue his shopping elsewhere.
Rearrange the Entire House
Please don’t.
We’ve carefully staged everything.
The dining room isn’t a scavenger hunt.
If you pick something up, wonderful.
If you decide not to buy it…
Please put it back where you found it.
Not in the bathroom.
Not behind the sofa.
Not balanced on top of a lamp.
Future shoppers—and our staff—will thank you.
Block the Checkout
You’ve decided not to buy anything.
Perfectly fine.
But perhaps don’t stand in front of the checkout for twenty minutes telling us about every estate sale you’ve ever attended while six people are waiting to pay.
We’ll happily chat.
Just maybe after we’ve finished helping the customers with armfuls of treasures.
Bring the Whole Family… and Let the Kids Run Wild
We love families.
We really do.
But estate sales aren’t playgrounds.
Many homes contain fragile antiques, expensive artwork, crystal, porcelain, glass, and furniture with corners that seem magnetically attracted to running children.
Please keep youngsters close.
Your future self—and our insurance company—will appreciate it.
And Finally…
Please Don’t Steal
It happens.
Thankfully, not very often.
Sometimes it’s obvious.
Sometimes it’s surprisingly creative.
One person removes the $50 price tag from a sterling silver serving dish and replaces it with the $1 sticker from an old can opener.
Someone else slips a collectible into a pocket.
At one sale…
Someone stole a mobile phone belonging to one of the staff.
Retail stores experience theft.
Estate sales do too.
The overwhelming majority of our customers are honest, friendly people.
But for the tiny minority who aren’t…
Yes, we have security.
Yes, we’re watching.
And no, we’re not nearly as cheerful when someone gets caught.
Here’s the Secret
Estate sale companies and shoppers actually want the same thing.
A fun sale.
Fair prices.
Happy buyers.
Happy sellers.
A few laughs.
Maybe a few unexpected treasures.
Treat the house with respect.
Treat the staff kindly.
Bring your measuring tape.
Bring your sense of humor.
Leave the attitude at home.
You’ll probably leave with something wonderful—and you’ll always be welcome back.
After all, we remember the good customers.
(We also remember the other ones.)